Australia Unfriends Kiwis, Undercuts Sovereignty –
That’s AUKUS, mate, pronounced “awkward” (how apropos).
An alliance spelled out in karaoke capitals,
Allies United Kindly Undermining Security.
A is for Aspirations (or American Approval – take your pick),
where submarines are submarined beneath rising debt
and Canberra dreams of stealth, while potholes bloom
on neglected highways back home.
U stands for “Uncertain,” but let’s say “Underwater” –
as in the billions sinking, plankton-rich,
into nuclear-lit oceans.
Uncle Sam grins, pockets jingling;
underneath the Southern Cross,
uniformed photo ops multiply
like trilogies in a bad franchise.
K is a silent knot in our stomachs –
or perhaps “Kung-fu Posture”:
Karate-chopping diplomatic ties with neighbours,
Kicking up kelp in the South Pacific,
Kiwis left outside, nibbling on ANZAC biscuits,
while we kneel for nuclear baptisms.
U could be “Unilateral” –
decisions drafted somewhere overseas,
urban legends about sovereignty
echo in emptied Parliament halls.
Upstream, uranium contracts flow
unfurling bureaucratic origami.
S for “Security” – a word so often repeated
it sounds like “Subterfuge” or “Spinoff”
from an empire anxious it’s losing top billing.
Sovereignty swapped for a submarine selfie:
smiles all round, till the bill arrives
and Pacific trust evaporates.
So, AUKUS:
Awash in Unintended Konsequences, Useless Submarines.
A parade of acronyms, alliances, and armaments –
all arranged extra carefully to
Assure Unenviable Karma Upon Signing.
Australia, listen:
Don’t anchor yourself to the anachronism,
Unmoor from the undertow,
Kiss goodbye the Kool-Aid.
Understand: security with a price
is often too costly for an island adrift.
Sail solo, or at least choose your crew.
AUKUS? It’s time to Ask U Kindly Un-Subscribe.
